I have a hard time going to wedding now-a-days. Now that my wedding has failed me, I have a hard time being in a purely celebratory mood while at weddings. I occupy myself shooting photographs to add to the couple’s gift, but once I’m “done” taking pictures, I’m spent and have to physically control myself from throwing up or crying. Weena’s brother Kwan got married today. I lived with Kwan’s wife Lamb my sophomore year of college, and while we didn’t exactly get along, we’ve gotten over any hard feelings we had. I wanted, so badly, to be thrilled for them while they said their vows and kissed the bride, but I couldn’t.
The minister spoke of what love really is (Biblically), and I couldn’t keep myself together. All of a sudden my nose practically exploded in my lap and snot was everywhere. It was sad. What she explained love as was never what I thought love was. That made me cry. I wasn’t crying becuase I was joyous of their marriage, I was crying because my marriage, although similar words were spoken, failed. My heart would break all over again if Kwan and Lamb weren’t able to make their marriage work. If their marriage doesn’t work, there is no hope for anyone; and that would be depressing.